In a bizarre and shocking turn of events, this evening local parents “Mommy” and “Daddy” reportedly put their two young sons into bed after a homemade dinner and dedicated time reading books, singing songs, and snuggling. The hapless boys, aged 1 and 3, protested this unprecedented incident with, quote, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaiiiiiieeeeeeeee!”
Neighbors are unsure what could have provoked such an unusual and surprising action on the part of these parents. “You just never know what people might do,” laments Jim Bob Smith, next door neighbor to the family in question. Another nearby friend, Suzie Que, wails, “I thought I knew them! But forcing a tired child to go to bed and sleep for a healthy length of time during the night! I just…can’t take it all in…”
It is unclear whether this outlandish practice has any history within the family or if this is the first time the boys have been subjected to “bedtime.” But their wretched, forlorn cries over this injustice demand action. Updates as events warrant.